Daydream [Remastered]

by Louis Holding

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1.
01:26
2.
gave into frustration in the middle of the day hyperventilating but I couldn’t say “Jake’s hurt me hurt me too much but not physically, no that’s not enough” pushed into nettles pushed by a friend behind the tents tethers at ends someone close in a few months’ time will try to hide that they’re trying to die sprained arms and finished books stop giving those dirty looks what do you mean “I’m a wuss”? wiping eyes on sidelines irrefutable, subtle signs that it’s not going to change soon anytime friends anxious for help help slowly came flooded tents torrential rain guided at dark past places before warm shelter now, now under shore a warm place to sleep a comfortable home lights lit the floor we weren’t alone it’s over so soon where did it go my friends from these years was it for show? sprained arms and finished books stop giving those dirty looks what do you mean “I’m a wuss”? wiping eyes on sidelines irrefutable, subtle signs that it’s not going to change soon anytime
3.
03:44
it’s a lonely dark night will we use our lives? I’ve tried to make it happen so many times will we waste our days? always doing the same wanting other lives but not other names I’ve listened to Jack’s words of wasting days blurred we were waiting for something that had already occurred I know what love’s like now but what I don’t know is how one-sided love seems to drag itself out it’s all ok if I just remember in a few months it’ll be December the time of year early hours slow down the welcome of bed signals sundown - just remember Jack’s words and stay ’til the end you won’t want to worry your friends.
4.
nothing happened this summer what should I expect my friends have other plans why can’t it be perfect don’t know what I’m waiting for staring at the wall just want something to happen anything at all can we go somewhere new? it doesn’t have to be far I just want to get away and lie beneath the stars we could climb on the roof and talk for a bit it doesn’t have to be deep just want some memories can we please just do something before the moment’s gone this is the last summer before we all move on
5.
03:18
what am I doing here? watching my joy disappear nothings the same anymore I can’t even play simple chords what's your happiest thing? what kinda feelings does it bring? I’ve been numb for so long now that I just don’t ever feel anything searching for something to make a change losing grasp and slowly slipping away nothing I’ve tried has worked so far now I’m wishing for help from the stars seasons come and go meanings soon will show of things I’ve been told before things I should really be looking for phrases repeated again worn-out oldest friends time and time again “get out of your daydream!” searching for something to make a change losing grasp and slowly slipping away everything I’ve tried has failed it’s always lost in details hoping for something to make a change leaving home and slowly slipping away I don’t know if anything works at all this could be my downfall
6.
the party's burned out most people've gone home but we're still dancing to music on our own but it's been turned off now and we need to settle down we say our goodnights and thanks for love found I've rolled out the sleeping bag sleeping on the floor the girls are in the other room but you creep through the door and lie down on the floor with me you're kinda drunk still I don't know what you see in me but your will is your will now we're kissing at 4am the others won't wake 'til 10 not sure if I'm into you maybe we'll all pull through but the party last night was great we started drinking vodka at 8 but back to the here & now I'm kissing but I don't know how my thoughts should be on you but my mind is elsewhere this night happened suddenly I went in without a care now I think I don't know you the differences between us we're not going to become a thing i shouldn't care because now we're kissing at 4am the others won't wake 'til 10 not sure if I'm into you maybe we'll all pull through but the party last night was great we started drinking vodka at 8 but back to the here & now I'm kissing but I don't know how we're kissing at 4am the others won't wake 'til 10 not sure if I'm into you maybe we'll all pull through but the party last night was great we started drinking vodka at 8 but back to the here & now I'm kissing but I don't know how
7.
8.
pretending avatars are fake identities and names thinking it’s too late for my skin to change was it fate? too long to wait pills can’t mend the hole I’m trying to create Arin you stood for something I couldn’t tell anyone how it pained me Arin you were more than a front you were a symbol you were me
9.
of course it’s exactly how I thought it would be coming to this party alone knowing I would not be able to talk to anyone at all sat on the sofa as faces pass me by some I do not recognise this bottle of vodka is gonna be my closest friend tonight how did I think this was gonna go down other than like this mess that I’m in thinking to myself if anyone would notice if I left in this din why does this happen to me everytime I go to parties alone why don’t I make friends and chat all night instead of going home
10.
03:18
we met when we were 5 for years apart we thrived in 2009 your path joined with mine came round once a week Leon wants you to peak wanna keep up the streak so you don’t appear weak you joined scouts with me with kids out of reach full of older bullies you went about it carefree time passed so quickly more memories weekly by the time it ended you were best friends with me 6886 my very best friend how did our friendship peak in 2010? drifting apart is part of growing up drifting away run out of luck 6886 haven’t met since 16 but I still remember writing “The Vending Machine”
11.
05:00
far in the sky is a place I call home a place to myself, to sit quiet and alone no one can reach me, in my mind so full my tower holds my thoughts wrapped in wool far in the clouds is where I go to dream to get away from earth, bursting at the seams no one can reach me, not even my friends maybe that’s why it always ends up in the sky is where I stay awake at night wondering if my future is so bright sunrise greets me, starting a new day my tower is where I’ll forever stay

about

I released Daydream nearly a year and a half ago now and I've learnt a lot since then. Mostly how bad I was at mixing, so here we are!

Lots of things came together all at once - I was hit up by Chromatic Aberration Records to press this album onto cassette, and then my oldest friend Luke offered to re-mix and remaster this album since he knows way more about this stuff than I do.

This is the finished result! I hope you enjoy, and please check out Chromatic Aberration Records and the other talented artists on their roster!

credits

released December 6, 2019

Written, recorded, and performed by Louis Holding
Remaster & new mix by Luke Mathews
Photography by Ray Holding

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